Dates & Time

This pic was from a million years ago, at Heather & William’s house in GR.  I loved their house because all of their drinking glasses were mismatched.  Literally, Heather said her goal was to not have even one matching pair.  Also, they had a third floor that had once been a ‘ballroom’ level.  BALLER.  How fantastic.  It felt old and unfinished, unpolished, and ready for exploration.

Yesterday I had an epiphany: I should just pick one thing and DO it.  Something big, potentially life-changing.  And then hammer away at it.  I was, in that moment, vividly aware of myself as a capable human being, and also that for the first time in my life,  really feeling the ‘what could you possibly lose’ phenomenon.  I’ll turn 40 next year, and I’m probably not going to accidentally stumble into some fabulous career or travel lifestyle or interesting set of skills.  But I also won’t even intentionally be able to achieve every single thing I want to do.  But maybe if I picked one, the biggest, best one, and then just work on that shit every day, maybe there will be a chance?  After digging through old journals, ruminating on old words and choices, I’m a bit disappointed that I currently spend the majority of my days hiding in the bathroom to avoid whining and looking forward to Sunday mornings because I get to sleep until 10 a.m.

I think I’m ready to be single-minded.  Pick a goal.  If a situation contrasts with it, remove myself from it.  I’d like to look back at today’s pictures ten years from now and know that a series of positive decisions were made between the two dates.